Stirring my coffee and listening to some good music, I’m making myself comfortable while I write this article.

Why? Because it hits on a really good topic, which I find I’m getting very into!

After all, it’s easy when it’s something that pertains to life as we know it – the endless quest to become wiser, stronger and braver.

I was up late the other night having what inadvertently became a competition amongst my BBM friends.

Feeling some Oprah coming on, I asked some of them; “What do you know for sure?”

I asked because we’ve all got those life lessons we’ve learnt which simply stick out at us. And exchanging our experiences with others is what life is all about.

Like pebbles in a stream, we’ve all been bashed and bruised a couple times and we’ve all been moulded.

We’ve come out looking and behaving like we are today because of a lesson (or lessons) we’ve learnt along the way. It might not have been easy at the time, but it has (hopefully) helped us evolve as human beings.

Oprah always asks this question to her famous guests, and reading their answers in her magazine is so enlightening. You’re constantly left nodding your head, sipping your coffee and muttering “Ah, so true…”

Some of my favourites over the years have been:

“Become the change you want to see”

“Everything you’ve ever done prepares you for all you can do”

“How you spend your time defines who you are”

“Giving yourself time to just be and not do is essential to fulfilling your mission as a human being”

“The truth is that which feels right, good and loving”

“Loving [on another] doesn’t hurt. It feels really good”

“To know that people care about how you’re doing when the doings aren’t so good-that’s what love is”

“Right now you’re one choice away from a new beginning”

“The problems that make you shout ‘Mercy!’ will build your courage and determination”

Looking through my notepad of good lessons I have jotted down, I came across some more from a very famous writer and poet whom I admire greatly, Maya Angelou:

Photo by: Nella Coetzer

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.”

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life.”

“I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.”

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back…”

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.”

“I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back…”

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.”

I also like reading the more in-depth interviews that Oprah’s had with famous figures over in the US, such as Joan Brackwell who is a TV Presenter, journalist and broadcaster.

Joan’s message is “Accept the Chaos” – she explains that everything takes longer than we think it will….shopping, phoning home, growing up, getting pregnant and being happy.

The Dalai Lama has another message about what he ‘knows for sure’. He tells us to “Weigh up the Consequences” – he says before we act we should always consider the whole situation and conduct it holistically. He stresses that something he’s learnt is to consider the consequences and implications of our actions before we do them, and appreciate that sometimes it’s wise to undergo a small suffering if doing so will allay a greater pain.

Car Honore is interviewed in one of her magazines and he says he’s an advocate of the “Slow Movement”. His message is to “Find Your Inner Tortoise”. I especially liked this one because it reminded me of myself and my sometimes overwhelming lifestyle. Between Facebook, BBM, Twitter, Blogging, e-mailing and Skyping, we are over-stimulated with technology and it can sometimes leave you feeling breathless and scattered. I even ask myself often; “Woah, what’s the rush?”

He recalls the story of The Hare and the Tortoise and how everyone today seems to have forgotten that it’s the tortoise who wins.

He says that like the tortoise, we should slow down and simply take our time with some things. “It’s not slacking; it’s taking the time to do what you do well, and not feeling guilty about having a little ‘me-time’.”

He says stop believing that you need to ‘have it all now’ because that’s just a recipe for hurrying. He asks us to consider letting go of the clutter – the project at work that doesn’t really need our input, or the party we might say yes to because we don’t want to miss out.  He wants us to slow down because we can be more creative when we do things more ‘deeply’.

Photo by: Nella Coetzer

Finally, Arja Salafranca is a female journalist and poet in the U.S who also has a say in the matter. What she knows for sure is that rejoicing in everyday pleasures is the key to staying young. “Tell me I am going on a Danube cruise this year and I am delirious with joy. Show me a review with my byline and I am as thrilled as the first time I saw my name in print.”

She says not to lose our enthusiasm for ordinary, everyday pleasures as well as mundane realities because in the long run we’ll be surprised at how youthful we can keep.

Now for what my friends had to say

Zaskia – “Nothing is ever how it seems”

Brandon – “The closest ones to you will always hurt you the worst and you’ll forgive them”

Charlie – “I’ve done my job with the precious time I have if I leave the world in a better place than I found it”

Gustav – “Follow your dreams and do what motivates you, not others. Because when people are passionate about something they love no matter if it’s in business or personal growth, they will perform and achieve greater things than if they follow someone else’s dreams”

Jahan – “You haven’t lived until you’ve found something worth dying for”

Candice – “Things are never what they seem; there is always a bigger picture or something behind what you see”

Nella – “What I know for sure is that you can never be sure of something”

Haiko – “Being with the person you love will destroy the strength you thought was real and give you strength you never realised was possible”

Roberta – “It’s not what you say but how you say it and likewise it’s not what you do, but how you do it”

Sarah – “Every action has a reaction”

Nicola – “You will definitely burn if you stay in the sun too long”

Laurian – “I know for sure God lives and that the spiritual realm is more alive than people can believe. If more people could endeavour to become stronger in the spirits, they would overcome life’s circumstances with a different view; a God view”

Zander – “Life is not fair, but it also holds no grudges. And, like chess, you can win from any position on the board”

Kate – “Your gut is always right… Trust it”

Siphokazi – “Life is full of many uncertainties; highs and lows, confusion and possibilities for anything! The only thing I know for sure is that with God’s direction and guard, life can be EXACTLY what He intended, with the intended peace of mind!”

And mine?

Well I take my cue from Maya Angelou, interviewed herself by Oprah on her 70^th birthday. She says (and it’s certainly what I know for sure):

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

And, I add, what I know for sure is that:

Arrogance never becomes anyone. Supporting others and just being nice takes nothing away from you, but makes you a nicer person; someone other people will want to be around.

Think about it.

Until my next very deep post, dive into life head first each day and try to put at least one of these wise lessons into practice!

Photo by: Dane Doubell

Xxxx